Dan Quayle's Cream of Potatoe Soup

On a cold day, enjoy this soup, which is straightforward, cheap, tasty, and now comes with outdated political humor absolutely free.

Ingredients:

• 8 or 9 medium (two-inch diameter) potatoes
• 2 cups chicken broth
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 tablespoon flour
  
• 1/4 teaspoon dried dill
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper
• 1 cup half and half (you can substitute 1 cup of milk plus a tablespoon of butter)
  

Implements:

• Blender or food processor
  
• Oven
• Large sauce pan
• Spoon
• Knife
• Peeler

Start off by preparing your potatoes: clean them, scrubbing with a brush or a sponge, and cut or tear off any eyes or sprouts. Peel them (but don't—and I say this from experience—put the peels in your garbage disposal), and then cut out any bad or discolored spots. Then cut them into quarters (or sixths if any are slightly larger). The goal is to have a bunch of potato pieces that are all the same size. Put these in your sauce pan evenly and pour just enough water into the pan to reach the top of the pile of potatoes. Then set the potatoes to boil for ten minutes. The clock starts when the water starts boiling.

In the meantime, make sure your other ingredients are ready to go. Mix together the flour, dill, salt, and pepper in a small bowl and set it aside. If you don't already have chicken broth, make it by adding two packets or cubes of chicken bouillon to two cups of water, but there is no need to boil it because it will cook in the soup. Measure out your cup of half and half and set it aside.

When the ten minutes are up, drain and rinse the potatoes, returning the sauce pan to the stove. Put the potatoes in a blender or food processor with 1 cup (half) of the chicken broth. Blend it until it is evenly smooth, stopping the blades and rearranging the potatoes with a spoon if you have to.

In the sauce pan, set the heat to medium, then add a little bit of oil and the pat of butter. When the butter has melted, stir in the flour-seasoning mixture and then, all at once, the half and half. Stir it constantly until it gets thick and bubbly, then start the timer for a minute and keep stirring until the timer goes off.

Stir in the blended potatoes and the remaining broth. Keep stirring for another minute or however long it takes to heat the soup through. You may add more half and half to change the consistency or more salt and pepper to taste. That's it—you're done.

The Kugel

This just in from Los Angeles, California:

One Package Egg Noodles
12 oz cream cheese (light is okay, but not fat free)
3/4 pint to 1 pint sour cream (light but not fat free)
3/4 lb cottage cheese
3 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp salt
1/8 cup butter
1/4 cup to 1/2 cup sugar

Cook egg noodles according to package directions and set aside.

In the mean time mix together cream cheese, sour cream, cottage cheese, eggs, vanilla, and salt, and blend.

Add butter and sugar to warm noodles and mix up. Then add the cheese mixture to the noodles mixture.

Place in a lightly greased glass pan, usually one of the bigger rectangle ones.

Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes.

Top with corn flakes if you like.

Serve with sour cream and brown sugar.

Fruity Freeze

The name works on a couple levels. Anyway, this one is really easy, so long as you have a blender.

Food related products you'll need:
1 cup plain yogurt
1.5 cups milk
2 tablespoons powdered sugar
1/2 cup of ice

Now, you're going to need some fruit to make up the fruity part of this fruity freeze. At this point you have options, from which you can select according to your taste or means:

Option A
2 medium peaches, pitted
1 large banana, peeled. Maybe even divided into three perfect wedges, for fun.

Option 2
1 small orange, peeled
1/2 grapefruit, peeled
2 tablespoons pineapple juice, peeled (seeing if you are paying attention)
3 tablespoons coconut cream
Dash of lemon juice

Option III (if you make this version, omit the powdered sugar)
1/4 cup cherry jam, jelly, or preserves
1/4 cup boysenberry jam, jelly, or preserves
1/4 cup blueberry jam, jelly, or preserves
1.5 tablespoons pomegranate juice

Hardware you require:
One blender
Measuring cups and spoons

Okay, got your option picked out? Ready for this?
Take all your fruits, the yogurt, the sugar, and the milk, and stick them in a blender.
Blend until smootherific

What's left over? The ice!
Add the ice to the blender one cube at a time, blending until the whole thing is milkshake thick and smooth

Whippo! You are done.

Enjoy.