Dan Quayle's Cream of Potatoe Soup

On a cold day, enjoy this soup, which is straightforward, cheap, tasty, and now comes with outdated political humor absolutely free.

Ingredients:

• 8 or 9 medium (two-inch diameter) potatoes
• 2 cups chicken broth
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 tablespoon flour
  
• 1/4 teaspoon dried dill
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper
• 1 cup half and half (you can substitute 1 cup of milk plus a tablespoon of butter)
  

Implements:

• Blender or food processor
  
• Oven
• Large sauce pan
• Spoon
• Knife
• Peeler

Start off by preparing your potatoes: clean them, scrubbing with a brush or a sponge, and cut or tear off any eyes or sprouts. Peel them (but don't—and I say this from experience—put the peels in your garbage disposal), and then cut out any bad or discolored spots. Then cut them into quarters (or sixths if any are slightly larger). The goal is to have a bunch of potato pieces that are all the same size. Put these in your sauce pan evenly and pour just enough water into the pan to reach the top of the pile of potatoes. Then set the potatoes to boil for ten minutes. The clock starts when the water starts boiling.

In the meantime, make sure your other ingredients are ready to go. Mix together the flour, dill, salt, and pepper in a small bowl and set it aside. If you don't already have chicken broth, make it by adding two packets or cubes of chicken bouillon to two cups of water, but there is no need to boil it because it will cook in the soup. Measure out your cup of half and half and set it aside.

When the ten minutes are up, drain and rinse the potatoes, returning the sauce pan to the stove. Put the potatoes in a blender or food processor with 1 cup (half) of the chicken broth. Blend it until it is evenly smooth, stopping the blades and rearranging the potatoes with a spoon if you have to.

In the sauce pan, set the heat to medium, then add a little bit of oil and the pat of butter. When the butter has melted, stir in the flour-seasoning mixture and then, all at once, the half and half. Stir it constantly until it gets thick and bubbly, then start the timer for a minute and keep stirring until the timer goes off.

Stir in the blended potatoes and the remaining broth. Keep stirring for another minute or however long it takes to heat the soup through. You may add more half and half to change the consistency or more salt and pepper to taste. That's it—you're done.

Mikey's New Crock-Pot

I love to cook, but I'm not confident enough in the kitchen to make really complicated meals, and I'm getting tired of making the same dishes night after night. (Don't I sound like a voice-over from an infomercial?) So about a week ago, I bought myself a Crock-Pot brand slow cooker.

I don't remember my mom ever cooking with one when I was little, except when she'd make brisket. (Her brisket is to die for, but I can't pass along the recipe.) Anyway, I decided that if I bought one, I could make all sorts of stews and roasts; the hearty kinds of meals that my goyishe friends ate when I was growing up. But where do you find a good recipe for a slow cooker? One of my cookbooks, The New Best Recipe, which I love, features a delicious-looking recipe for French Onion Soup that I plan on making next week, maybe on Sunday. But otherwise, I have to adapt other recipes, or look on the Internet. And my friends, it's slim pickin's on-line.

But this morning, I decided to try out this recipe for Cuban black bean soup from Crockpot.com:

Cuban Black Bean Soup

Ingredients:
3 15-oz. cans black beans, undrained
2 14.5-oz. cans beef broth
1 14.5-oz. can diced tomatoes
1 4-oz. can chopped green chilies
5 oz. extra-lean fully cooked ham, cut into 1 inch cubes
1 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1 tsp dried oregano leaves
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried thyme leaves
1 tsp pepper

Directions:
Combine all ingredients in stoneware stir well. Cover cook on Low 8 to 10 hours or on High for 4 to 5 hours.


With the soup, I'll also make Brazilian rice, which goes perfectly with black beans. I hate cooking white rice, but you really can't go wrong cooking it the Brazilian way, and it's, well, yum tasty. I learned the recipe from my mom, but it's a pretty standard dish.

Brazilian Rice

Screw an ingredients list. I'm doing it narrative style, baby. So you'll need rice, water, salt, an onion, a clove of garlic, and olive oil. Heat the olive oil (or EVOO, as Rachael Ray would say) in a frying pan. Mince the garlic, chop the onions, and saute them in the pan until they're golden brown. Pour in the rice and fry it with the onions and garlic until the rice starts to brown. Then add water (you know the rule: about twice as much water as rice) and salt. Cover the pan and let it cook for about 20 minutes.

If you serve this all with a slice of orange, some farofa (manioc flower fried in butter with garlic -- you can substitute cream of wheat for the manioc), and fried kale, it would be sort of a Cuban take on the Brazilian national dish, feijoada.

I'm not really in the mood for making kale or farofa, so we'll just have the soup and the rice. Feel free to contact me if you're curious to know how it tastes.